I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find it VERY hard to find balance in my life (let alone my checkbook). I tend to be hot or cold…all in…or all out. Take yesterday for example. It was a beautiful day where I could (and probably should) have been outside with my daughter enjoying the weather at a park, or in our courtyard, or at our apartment pool. Instead, we spent much of the day watching movies (sometimes in separate rooms–her on the iPad and me on the T.V. or on my phone–but mostly together).
I can sit here and yell at myself all day for what I didn’t do: workout, cook a healthy lunch, play games, craft…the list is endless…it was an ALL OUT day. OR…I can acknowledge that once is a while, it’s okay to take a day and rest. We went to Mass. We called the dads in our lives. We spent lots of time snuggling (as my child doesn’t understand the conccept of pesonal space). We ate stirfry and I did later watch her swim (until the cuts on my hand heal from cooking the day before–I’m keeping them out of the pool). We read stories. We snuggled more. I said “No” to the voices that told me I need to do more and be busy and get shit done. I said “No” to the voice that said my house was cluttered and needed to be cleaned, and the laundry needed to be washed RIGHT NOW.
I knew today would be busy with classwork. Today, my daughter would be at daycare so I can continue to take classes and work on becoming a better teacher. Today would be busy enough. So yesterday was a gentle day–a “lazy” day. And THAT’S OKAY! We all need these once in a while. And the next day, we pick up and keep moving. Yesterday was all out. Today, I’m ALL IN…finding the balance of this day.